Memoir: An Episode to Remember

What is the essence of being a woman? It was the question for crowned Miss Universe 1994, Sushmita Sen of India. Then she answered, "Just being a woman is God's gift that all of us must appreciate. The origin of a child is a mother, and is a woman. She shows a man what sharing, caring and loving is all about. That is the essence of a woman. "

I strongly agreed and I do loved her answer, but practically speaking, I thought that response only suits for a woman who is career stable and mature enough to face the consequences of motherhood. Well, how about if  You're not like what I've mentioned above? You never had a mother trait inside you? Instead, you're happy-go-lucky female, inserious with your stress-free life (except for some sort of schoolworks that made you serious a bit). Just living your life for your own sake, because you're not committed to anyone. Unprepared for any obstacles, let me say, your too weak and vulnerable for pain physically and emotionally. You probably ended up running and screaming for hills if problem arises.

For goodness sake! That's me! BUT wait! (There's a big contradiction) Those qualities of mine changes as time goes by. My subconscious slapped me and said "Hey! You'll be a mother soon! Change! As soon as possible! If you don't want that living creature suffering in your hands! Then, I answered "I'm not prepared yet." "So, if you're unprepared why did you do that one word-three letters thing!. I just sighed. "Ok, enough arguing with you. From now on, I'll try to the best I can to nurture my child. Change may not happen in a snap of a finger, but I will do it slowly but surely".

I carried a life inside me for nine months. Just to share with you, I just discovered that I'm pregnant in my 6th month. I'm in Second year college, Second semester by that time. In fact- nobody notice that I'm preggy even my closest friends inside the school and even myself. They just notice that I'm getting fat and some mood swings when we were together, but they thought that it was just a part of being me. Not knowing that I'm already pregnant.

My Tita Lyn already knew it, she's a nurse actually, but she just need a confirmation from me and an Ob-Gyne. She respected my silence. She remained silent as time passes, but by May 7, 2013(in celebration with my 81st Grandma's birthday), someone broke the silence. Goodness! I didn't expect that my uncle Manny will be the one who informed everyone that I'm pregnant. According to him, someone gossiped the information, he didn't named name but I knew who she was. She's a staff in the hotdog stand owned by my cousin(uncle Manny's eldest son). So, when my boyfriend, Aiver and I came home from Recto station because I worked for my cousin doing the inventory in his hotdog business. My grandma, hugged me and said "Don't worry, were here. Don't cry apo. Aiver, What are your plans now? And it's best to arrange your life now as a parent. Sheena, go to an OB-Gyne tomorrow. There's no way to change it. What done is done. So, let that be."

 It was a mind boggling night. To the fact that, I had a week of tearful days and sleepless nights. The fact that nobody recognized me at home, as if I wasn't existing. Good thing, My grandma was still there to guide and talk to me. Aiver was also beside me, when he's off to work. Then mom eventually, realized that I need her. I knew how hard it is to accept my mistake, but, I promise that I would finish my studies, despite of such circumstance. It may be the best gift she will ever had. I know.

Then in my last trimester of pregnancy, I didn't pursue my school, I should be in third year college by then, but our family encouraged me to leave school just for a while, and get back if I already recovered with my delivery. Maybe, the thought that, I may labor or bleed in school, whoa! Creepy. So, I agreed because they have the point, they're just worried in my situation. They also knew that I don't have the strong personality to face judgments among those eyes who can see.

I carried a life inside me for nine months. During those days, I experienced many wonderful and sometimes challenging moments of pregnancy. I undergone weird symptoms such as cravings, emotional sensitivity. I have a Do-list here: Visit my OB-Gyne monthly and undergo certain vaccinations for a safer and stronger pregnancy. I should take my vitamins religously. Wear maternity dresses. Drink plenty of fluids. Salty, fatty, artificially-flavored and preservative-laden foods should be avoided or taken in moderation. It seems very hard at first, but eventually I overcame it with some help from my love ones. My husband filled a storage cabinet with plenty of fruits, healthy biscuits, and powdered milk for pregnant moms, in exchange for "killer foods".

Time really flies fast and indeed, by 8:00 in the evening of September 03, 2012 I labored. It lasted for 10 hours, the feeling was indescribable. I feel pain all over my body, there's a painful contraction inside my womb. I felt discomfort along my back and abdomen. There's a feeling of something will fall between my legs. I kept crying, jumping, and shouting that it hurts. Rightaway, I was rush in the hospital. By 2:04 in the morning of September 04, 2012, I heard someone crying. Oh! my baby was born then I fell asleep. Praise God! I undergone a normal delivery, and I am still alive and kicking. (There's a folk expression that in each pregnancy, one of the woman's foot is in the grave).

♥ Dear God, Thank you so much for your grace.

When I woke up, I can't describe the feeling when my husband brought that pink creature beside my bed, I don't know. Mixed emotions maybe; fulfillment, happiness. everything. I really don't know. We named her Chantal Vienne. Chantal came after from a fictitious character in a book entitled, "The Devil and Miss Prymm" by Paolo Coehlo. While, Vienne came from the jumbled letters of her father. Here, Right now, because of my little angel, I was enlightened that conceiving a child is life's most precious gift for a mother.